Happy Birthday Boomie

Boomie seeing Jaiya, Tucker, mom and I. We met Martha and Annabelle as well! I think this may have been the last time I visited her in the nursing home. I am not sure...but I'm glad I snapped a few shots. I think this was the 2nd time she saw Tucker in person.
Jaiya was coaxing Boomie into eating her lunch. Im so glad Boomie is smiling here. She was glad we visited. She was always glad to see us.


Tucker with Boomie. His great-grandma!!


It was Boomies birthday today. I was thinking of her today and really missing her. I have a picture of her and I at my wedding that is framed in our living room. I love having it to look at and remember her smile. I miss her so much. I would love to sit and ask her questions and hold her hand and hug her. I remember how she smelt, a sweet smell that I will never forget. She loved me so much and was always so glad to see me. I wish I could take back the times in my life that I was not as grateful as I should of been that she was such an active part of my life.

The last time I saw her alive, I was not sure what to say to her. It was at the end of Christmas break, Ben had our car loaded up and I was holding her hand telling her goodbye. Sobbing, I kept telling her that I loved her, she was not responsive to me but I was assured by my mom and aunt that she could hear me. What do you say to someone when you are telling them goodbye? When you know you will never see them again on this earth? This was all hitting me as I kept thinking I should have the perfect words. I just looked into her eyes and told her over and over again how much I loved her. How much I loved the stories she used to tell me, that was one memory that was clear to me at the time that I wanted to share with her. I was so glad my mom brought her home to be with us on Christmas. It was such a special time.

The next time I saw her was at the funeral home. The day before her funeral. I was fearful of this because I have always heard of funeral homes being creepy but there was something oddly comforting about seeing her. I could not stop touching her face and hands because I have heard that in dealing with death, the more spend time with the person dying or dead, the easier it is to heal and grieve. I stroked her soft hair, I touched her hand that was no longer puffy from her stroke. My cousin pointed out that her hand finally looked normal. What a great reminder that her body is here but her spirit is in Heaven. It was a night to be with family and allow myself to be sad and miss her. I love it that my family is pretty emotional and its no big deal to shed a tear and that we were all able to get sad.

It was also a great experience to talk with Jaiya about death. I know that sounds weird. But she is an incredibly curious 3 year old and she asks ALOT of questions. She said over and over again that Boomie was sleeping. I was worried that it would quite frankly freak her out to see a dead person but it didn't. I think children respond to things based on how we do. She is always watching me. So when I would go up to Boomie to talk or look at her, Jaiya came with me. She would say sweet things like, "Mommy doesn't Boomie look pretty." I was glad Jaiya was there with me. She always makes me smile. Aside from the fact that she and Tucker were all over the chapel and left a trail of raisins.


So....here a few pictures above that I could find Boomie.

Happy Birthday Boomie. I love you and miss you so much. I dedicate this blog I started to you, because you have always encouraged me to write, journal and get my feelings out.

Love. Your Joy